u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
