the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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