If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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