I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Houston, we have a blender
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
