Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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