my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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