as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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