No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
