The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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