You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
