don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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