I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
