At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
