so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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