I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
