yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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