Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No subtext here. People are naked.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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