I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
