Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
