he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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