i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
