it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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