Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
