North Korea, Best Korea!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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