This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
