But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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