One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
