just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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