ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
