She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
