butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
