Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You ruined the universe
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
