You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize