Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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