This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just puked most of my soul out..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
