If i could tip my vagina, i would.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
