then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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