All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Green mimosas i think yes
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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