Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
