We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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