idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
