He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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