I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
