I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
