I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
