you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
