nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
