Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
