I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
