Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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