There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
