he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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