fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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