Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
